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A girlfriend… or not?

I know this is “old” news in today’s rapidly changing media, but this Manti Te’o thing is quite amusing. The guy’s not bad looking, and he’s a friggen FOOTBALL PLAYER for Christ’s sake. Don’t chicks love that kinda stuff? He couldn’t get a real-life girlfriend?

Or, at least a girlfriend that he speaks to on the phone?   

I suspect that he might be secretly gay, and having a girlfriend; at least in the eyes of the media, removes him from the is-he-or-isn’t-he conversation. Who can blame him?  Look at all the bigotry that comes out of the woodworks just from Jodie Foster’s “coming out speech”.

Russia has been in the news this week for pushing legislation to make it illegal to provide minors with information about “propaganda” regarding homosexuality, bisexuality and, Heaven forbid, gay rights.

“The bill is part of an effort to promote traditional Russian values as opposed to Western liberalism, which the Kremlin and church see as corrupting Russian youth and by extension contributing to a wave of protest against President Vladimir Putin’s rule.”

And to think I was planning to visit Russia soon.


These pretty much sum up my daily experiences.

Accomplishments… or not?

This past weekend, Jen and I watched the movie Men of Honor. This past weekend was also when I received my MSW. Still enjoying the high feeling of pride and accomplishment, I settled in for a night of relaxation – giving my brain a much needed rest.

For those of you who haven’t seen this movie, and those of you who want it to be spoiled, it is about a black man who overcomes (don’t know if that’s the best word – can unjustified hatred be overcome?) intense racism in the Navy to become the first African American Navy diver, and the first to become Master Chief.

It is stories like this one that make me feel like I haven’t truly accomplished much. Sure, I have done a lot in my life, but I didn’t have the obstacles that this guy had. There is one scene where everyone leaves the room just because of the color of his skin – and he continues to stand proudly while spending day and night with these people. In another scene, he is forced to spend almost 9 hours completing a test that took others about two hours, all because he was set up to fail.

His determination got him through when everything – and everyone- was against him. Would I have been able to get through in similar circumstances? Or would I have given up? 

Are accomplishments relative? Are they subjective?

Am I over-analyzing…?–but-it-arises-in-the-womb?goback=%2Egde_63687_member_195173551



I am going to lose it completely.

Some of you read Kristen Lamb, who writes a blog about writing. It’s extremely popular and usually very helpful. But her latest post was a digression — an extended piece about being a size 10/12 and why she feels fat:

I am healthy, have beautiful skin and hair. I have enough energy to power a small city and am never sick, but I am still a size 10-12 and 170 pounds.

Why is it no one looks like me?

When we look on TV, we are confronted with extremes–super skinny or clinically obese. We are calling anorexics “beautiful” and calling dangerously obese women “curvy.” We are an a country that is dying because of euphemisms. I hear parents call morbidly obese children “husky,” “big-boned” or “muscular.” We have retailers calling anorexics “curvy.”

I get it. I’ve written about this as well.

But, seriously…

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curly hair problems


I’m so sick of straight haired girls telling me they understand my frustration when it comes to curly hair.

“My hair gets curly when it’s humid, I totally understand”.

Mm hmm.  You have no idea.

“My hair is naturally curly too, actually it’s wavy, I just straighten it”.

If you can “straighten” your hair to the point where it looks like that, then you probably don’t have the same texture hair as me.

My frustration stems from the fact that every time I try to find a new hair stylist, I ask if they have experience working with curly hair, and I almost get an offended response. As if I have insulted them by asking.  Yet I continue to experience haircuts from people who really have no idea how to work with curly hair. I’m talking REALLY CURLY hair. Not Taylor-Swift-who-has-curly-ends-sometimes hair.

A quick Google search for “curly hair” brings up about 90% of pictures of women with STRAIGHT hair with a hairstyle that came from throwing a couple curlers in it for a while. Where are my naturally-curly girls?

I am trying to find a new hairstyle for graduation, and I came across a site that can help you choose hairstyles based on your face shape. After choosing my face shape, (who the hell knows their face shape!?) I was directed to a site for choices for straight/wavy hair, as well as curly hair.  The two girls featured had the SAME DAMN HAIR.

See for yourself:


Until people learn the difference between straight-hair-with-a-little-bit-of-wave, and CURLY hair, we will continue to have these serious, real world problems. And people like me, who work third shift on a Friday night after no sleep due to preparing for graduation ALL WEEK, will continue to have minor issues to worry about.

So many problems. So little time.


As Facebook dwindles down from recent political explosions on the news feed, I’m still catching the odd debate here and there about the results of Maine’s Question 1.

It’s amazing how many people hide behind the premise of their “opinion” while spewing pure hatred. Just because you preface this filth with “in my opinion,” doesn’t make it any less that what it is: hatred. This world is full of it.

“Well I believe gay marriage is just wrong. Its disgusting.”

Maybe I find your face disgusting. Even Marie Antoinette had to learn sooner or later that the world wasn’t always going to cater to her expectations.

“I just don’t understand it”.

I didn’t realize it was necessary to give commentary on everything you dont understand.  I’ll never understand the attraction to fake-platinum blondes. Does this mean I have to clog up your news feed to ensure you know my opinion about this?  Leave the comments about things you “dont understand” to conversations about physics. That, nobody understands.

“I’m sorry, that’s just my opinion”.

Apologizing along with it doesn’t really make you that much less of an asshole.

“Next we’re going to be allowing legal incest and pedophilia”.

Why not? It’s in the Bible. Kidding. Totally fricken kidding.  I have no hope for these people, anyway. With this type of logic, nothing is untouchable.

“It’s a sin! It says so in the Bible”.

This one is probably my favorite. Your cookie-cutter following of the Bible has brought you to the realization that it must be wrong. After all, absolutely everything else that is (assumed to be) forbidden in the Bible is followed to an exact science; all 700 different interpretations of it.  Theologians disagree about scripture every day, but John Doe can’t be argued with.

“I’m being forced to put up with something I don’t agree with!”

You sound like a spoiled child. Gay marriage isn’t forcing you to marry someone of the same sex! Did the feminist movement mandate bra burning?

“I am allowed to have my opinion”

There are always those people who, when all common-sense fails, they resort to the “I know my rights” mentality. You’re correct, you have the right to condone hatred. But after awhile, doesn’t it get old?

Thank you Maine!

…and Maryland, Washington, and Minnesota!

It was a little scary there for a bit this afternoon, leaving me questioning my faith in America’s Vacationland; the place I have called my first home for 26 years next week.

But the final tally is in, placing Maine as the 7th state to legalize gay marriage, and the first state to do so by means of popular vote!  Rachel Maddow made it official by declaring her love for me, I mean, my state, as soon as votes were in.


Our opponent, Protect Marriage Maine, spent many hours concerning themselves with the lives of others. (You know what they say about “those who preach the loudest…”) Carroll Conley and Bob Emrich, two of the opposing campaign’s leaders, were interviewed by the press Tuesday night:

“When we started this campaign, we said marriage was in trouble in our country.” Conley said.  “We made the case for traditional marriage and we’re terribly disappointed that we were not able to convince enough voters to hold on to the value of traditional marriage for society and we genuinely fear for the consequences we’ve raised during the campaign.”

Marriage is in trouble?  Honey, if you think a same-sex couple getting married is the downfall of traditional marriage, then your head must have been in the sand for the past couple decades.  Adultery, 2 week engagements, and on-the-spot marriages in Vegas to people who just met 15 minutes prior are all legal in the “traditional marriage” world.  Mistresses,  million-dollar celebrity weddings immediately followed by divorce, perhaps some of these things have contributed to putting marriage in trouble?

“…hold on to the value of traditional marriage for society…”

What is “traditional marriage”, anyway?  According to who you ask, the Bible allows for Polygamy, mistresses, forced marriages of children, trading wives for goats, among other horrendous things.  Or, maybe Conley means altered-traditional marriage, like in the case of Newt Gingrich. He can get married and divorced how many times? And it’s all legal. If that doesn’t bother you, but two committed people having ONE marriage does, then reexamine your priorities.

“…we genuinely fear for the consequences we’ve raised during the campaign.”

Um. What? Consequences?  If Barney Frank’s legal marriage affects you THAT much, I can recommend a decent therapist.   You know what will happen when gay people get married?  …gay people will be married.  Men like Newt Gingrich will still have affairs, get divorced, and remarried – all while preaching for traditional marriage.

Times are changing, Conley. Get on the bandwagon with us, or get out of our way.

Here is a letter from a gay son to his conservative father that has been circulating around Facebook this week. It makes a lot of great points that conservatives should think about, especially if they have gay friends or family.